My heart is lost somewhere; have you found it?

I don’t have class today. No classes until January 10. No more late nights for reading and rushing papers to meet the deadliest deadline. No catching up with the school bus at “chepe monge” at 8:30am. No “gallo pinto” for breakfast. No gaby for lunch. No tutorials in mathematics for Hannah and Seth. No emails from the department or classmates. No more raining in the afternoon. No more use for the umbrella.

 These have been the things I am used to have for the past four months.

When I go out in the afternoon, the breeze accompanies me to where I don’t know where I am going. I walk on the same road which becomes unfamiliar to me. Even to some dogs of my neighbors, I become a stranger. They bark the way they barked the first time they had seen me four months ago. Some leaves are scattered, together with the memories of new year’s celebration. Some stones are unturned and grounded, some roll as I make contact with them. I sing the same song as I walk.  I see the lush green landscape beyond Ciudad Colon.  Some birds hover at a distance. I used to remember someone beyond the hills, at a far distance; someone’s heart beats for me. Sychronization of heartbeat with mine. The language of heartbeat breaks barriers of space and time.

Now, no more. I could not hear her heart beating for me anymore. My heart beats. It is lost somewhere, beyond the hills. The birds could not guide it.  I could not help it.

I don’t have class today. Yet I don’t feel like celebrating. I don’t feel like on vacation. I feel like… I am losing my heartbeat. For someone, or no one, out there.

If you find it, please catch it and you'll be blessed by the power of love more than you can imagine.