Boda de Oro (Golden wedding anniversary of Mama and Tatay)

Fifty years ago (November 24, 1960), my mother and father said to each other, "I do."

On that day, they pledged their love and commitment to be together for better or worse, for poorer or richer, in health or in sickness, to cherish their companionship until death forced them to part .

My father parted last year. He was 71.

He left behind his 68-year old lifetime partner, seven children, and fourteen grandchildren.

Had he survived until this year, he and my mother could have had a grand boda de oro or golden wedding anniversary. Very few couples are able to have this kind of celebration in their lifetimes. My parents missed it by just a year.  But forty-nine (49) years of togetherness is enough reason to celebrate and be thankful for.

That togetherness produced seven children. I am the sixth one in a relatively poor family. Each day, as I remember, was a struggle to cope with insufficiencies. However, it was in those difficulties and struggles that we held each other closer to our hearts. The bonding brought about by daily challenges and shared hardships in life could never make us who we are. And yes, those times were dificult and yet meaningful to live by and with.

Imagine if the Reproductive Health Bill (RHB) that encourages a 2-child policy was enforced at that time; you would not be reading this. Primarily because I would not be here. And many of us would not be here. This is one of my major reasons why I challenge the bill. Another major reason why I resist RHB is that Filipino couples nowadays are reproducing less babies than ever before. And the trend is going down and down, even without the RHB. In 2008, the population growth rate stands at 1.8 as compared to 3.08 in 1970s. Thus, what will the RHB do to our population when our population growth rate is already going down?

To provide couples the freedom to choose their family size is the best our government can do, rather than strongly encouraging a 2-child policy . Having small or big family size has benefits and costs. Our experiences and education cause us to be wise to know what is better for us. Who else know this better than ourselves?

In my family, this is very evident in the number of children of my brothers and sisters. The most number of children in one family is four while others have either two or one. This phenomenon and/or trend is observed in communities I visited, my friends' families, and relatives.

I  feel so blessed to be born in the generation without a bill that encourages contraceptions and 2-child policy. And I would like to extend this blessing to the future generations of my country in the way I know how and as long as I can. I believe each child is a gift to humanity as parents are gifts to children.

Thank you Mama and Tatay. You are such wonderful gifts to us, your children. I love you.

Coming of Age: A boy's story

Recently, I watched a critically-acclaimed and socially informed Mexican movie, Y tu mama tambien (And your mother too). The movie follows the story of two adolescent boys as they get to know more of the world and themselves. The movie brought back good, fun-filled, and naughty memories of my youthful years, a quintessential journey from boyhood to manhood. In short, my youthful years were my coming of age, a rupture of innocence, a break of dawn, an awakening of impulse, a discovery of innate and group power, a redefinition of the meaning of existence, and a question of whys and why nots.

This is my story.

Attending an all-male high school, I was introduced to adam's fantasy and eve's physical beauty. Freudian id was the usual suspect in the pursuit of pleasure and happiness (most of the time, I mean the other for the other and vice-versa). This is characteristically of an adolescent state in which unfathomable energies, persistent urges, and indescribable excitements toward pleasure, anti-establishment, rule-breaking, and ground-testing and experimenting dominate the experiential reality of the growing adolescents. An association to a peer-group furthers and multiplies the energies, urges, and excitements of the unassuming adolescents. I joined and associated myself with varied groups I deemed helpful in my journey to immortality of the significance of the present.

I was initiated to enter adam's fantasy by an older eve. Indeed, the apple was very inviting to be taken and I did bite a bit of it. The swiftness of the bite and the size of it caused me to wonder, "that was it." I had been to the "heaven's mouth." I wanted more to explore, I longed to be in it again and again. But I could not. One time, two time, three time... I could not fill the feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness afterwards. That was my fall from paradise to a wordly living. That was a good fall, a surrender. I suddenly felt I was living a life, my own, my only one.

Since the fall, everyday has become a struggle, to find meaning in what I do, what I think, I become. My God has provided me one. That is enough, more than enough.

I was made to believe that I am different. I am no ordinary. Sadly, the dailiness of living reminds me of everyday's lost opportunities to be different, to be unordinary. At times, it is easy to be ordinary, to swim

 like a fish in an aquarium, to be a star with a borrowed glitter.

I was taught that excellence is what should drive me to be able to become and be. Service to others is where I can express this drive to excellence. I believe so. And I intend to do so.

And so I am living my story. There is no given line, no advanced script, only the character and the Writer; y mi mama tambien.