Wednesday, July 27, 2011

"Find and Get A New One"

Rainy days made my five-year old pair of shoes really look worn out and old. They have done me great service. Their loyalty is beyond measurement. They were with me in every step of my way, literally. Now, it is with heavy heart that I am considering their retirement from active use and out of my traveling feet. I intend to keep them for sentimental reasons. But I know I will have to face harsh comments and reactions. Why can't I just keep them?

Our society has become used with disposing what is not working and actively in use, and acquiring new things to replace the disposed one. It has become a habit, very close to becoming a rule. It is now increasingly embedded in the mentality of many in our society. The consumerist attitudes demand to keep the production, distribution, and consumption of goods going. From electronic gadgets to material goods, we easily dispose the old familiar possessions, and replace them with hippie, fashionable, and cool stuff.

Many repair shops have folded up due to this dispose-and-replace mentality. From tailor and dressmaking shops to radio/TV repair shops, they slowly have faded in our utilitarian existence. Many of us tend not to repair something old and bit damaged, instead we tend to buy and replace it with new or second-hand one.

In Bicol, there were men who roamed around calling out, "irahay payong!" (repairing umbrellas).  For less than 50 pesos, they would personally and immediately fix any kind of problems of umbrellas in front of one's house. That was in the past. When I visited Bicol lately, I was unable to hear that familiar call of irahay payong. Cheap umbrellas proliferate in the local market of dry goods. Many of us do not simply care to keep an umbrella for more than two rainy and sunny seasons. Once it is broken or just a bit damaged, many of us prefer to have a new one to be our companion in the journey under the rain and sun.

Sadly, this kind of mentality has slowly sipped in our attitudes towards relationships. The recent debate on divorce bill in the Philippines (the lone country without a divorce law) may be an indication of this.

More often, we hear stories of break-up of relationships than new or make-up relationships. This is probably the reason why most of the best-selling songs and most requested songs are the sentimental heartbreak songs.

During a heated argument, we say things that hurt others. Although we do not mean to hurt the feelings of others, words can pierce and break the spirits and emotions of others more than we thought. Emotions fly high above our heads.

In my experience during these intense exchanges, I was told twice to find and get a new partner who will be perfect for my individuality. And twice I decided to ask my partner if she would be willing to take a new one in the old me. In the end, both of us decided to find and get a new partner in the old us.

Some say it is metamorphosis or transformation of sort to repair the damages of the past hurts and fix the problems of individual, gender, and cultural differences. We say it is defiance and standing up against the urge and pressures of easy way out - a mentality and disposition that demand replacements every now and then.

We say it is renewal of commitment, of the decision to journey together in life.