Friday, December 31, 2010

Closure


“There are certain things that you become fond of, and you welcome them and resent the new things.” – Ernest Hemingway, The Gambler The Nun The Radio

            For hundreds of people from Milaor  who commute everyday, going home is always a trip like no other.Understandably, after a hard day’s work, home is the place where one wants to be.

            Since the abrupt closure of the old terminal in Tabuco, Naga City for jeepneys plying Naga-Milaor and its transfer to the Central Business District (CBD) and LCC, catching a ride has become as elusive as gold in the Olympics. Yet there were jeepneys that managed to squeeze through the closed down area of the old terminal, ignoring the sign and wood obstruction that interlocked the passageway. So if the Abu Sayyaf was able to escape the cordon of the military, that would not be news because people are used with getting through no matter what. Well the change of terminal is expected somehow because new things and innovations will eventually come.

(Unlike the terminal, we do not have to wait, for change. We can  proactively go ahead with faith and confidence in our hearts.)

            However, at this point in time, the change of terminal site has confused the people of Milaor. They are torn between two terminals; one in the CBD or LCC and the other in the old terminal in Tabuco. The choice could be plain and simple. But how I wished that come this election, our choice would be that plain and simple as in choosing between good and evil. The fact is we are always forced to choose among evils so we pick the lesser evil wishing that someday he/she would become good. Anyway, I have yet to find a genie in a battle for my wish to come true.

            Because there are jeepneys willing to load commuters, they precisely continue to flock the old terminal. Not discounting, though, that the people might have developed the routine and too much attachment to the place that is why they keep on coming back. Or it might be convenience that continues to draw them to the old terminal. If not, the people might be resisting change and stick to whatever they are used to.

And this could be a case of a disconnection which is a not as effortless to let go as the goodbye kiss. Something, however, is left worthy to cherish and to keep yet the act of moving forward is inevitable.

            A friend of mine taught me the essence of how to end any relationship that might have unpleasant hang-ups caused by fateful departure by one or the other. One may associate the end of relationship with healing but the two are of distinct characteristics since the latter presupposes a hurt feeling. In this case, there is no hurt feeling engendered instead a sense of attachment. End of relationship or cycle is said to be sine qua non to make progress with one’s life without unmasking the bitterness and harsh lies of the relationship. It is about the painful truths of realities – the doomed farewell, letting go of something part of oneself, unexpressed love or hate – to be able to accept those and carry on.

            After more than a week now whenever I happen to pass by that closed terminal in the morning, I sense a bit of my peoples’ history. I could still hear the whispers of the town’s secret, the grumbles of life’s complaint, the surprise of meeting old friends, the amusement of various stories, the relief of finding an acquaintance, all being drowned by the resounding shout of the name of a hometown.

            No matter what the reasons are why the people continue to insist in coming to the old terminal, I think what is paramount to their consideration is the significance of going home. Wherever the terminal is, the people of Milaor are not going anywhere but home.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Boda de Oro (Golden wedding anniversary of Mama and Tatay)

Fifty years ago (November 24, 1960), my mother and father said to each other, "I do."

On that day, they pledged their love and commitment to be together for better or worse, for poorer or richer, in health or in sickness, to cherish their companionship until death forced them to part .

My father parted last year. He was 71.

He left behind his 68-year old lifetime partner, seven children, and fourteen grandchildren.

Had he survived until this year, he and my mother could have had a grand boda de oro or golden wedding anniversary. Very few couples are able to have this kind of celebration in their lifetimes. My parents missed it by just a year.  But forty-nine (49) years of togetherness is enough reason to celebrate and be thankful for.

That togetherness produced seven children. I am the sixth one in a relatively poor family. Each day, as I remember, was a struggle to cope with insufficiencies. However, it was in those difficulties and struggles that we held each other closer to our hearts. The bonding brought about by daily challenges and shared hardships in life could never make us who we are. And yes, those times were dificult and yet meaningful to live by and with.

Imagine if the Reproductive Health Bill (RHB) that encourages a 2-child policy was enforced at that time; you would not be reading this. Primarily because I would not be here. And many of us would not be here. This is one of my major reasons why I challenge the bill. Another major reason why I resist RHB is that Filipino couples nowadays are reproducing less babies than ever before. And the trend is going down and down, even without the RHB. In 2008, the population growth rate stands at 1.8 as compared to 3.08 in 1970s. Thus, what will the RHB do to our population when our population growth rate is already going down?

To provide couples the freedom to choose their family size is the best our government can do, rather than strongly encouraging a 2-child policy . Having small or big family size has benefits and costs. Our experiences and education cause us to be wise to know what is better for us. Who else know this better than ourselves?

In my family, this is very evident in the number of children of my brothers and sisters. The most number of children in one family is four while others have either two or one. This phenomenon and/or trend is observed in communities I visited, my friends' families, and relatives.

I  feel so blessed to be born in the generation without a bill that encourages contraceptions and 2-child policy. And I would like to extend this blessing to the future generations of my country in the way I know how and as long as I can. I believe each child is a gift to humanity as parents are gifts to children.

Thank you Mama and Tatay. You are such wonderful gifts to us, your children. I love you.